Eve of Destruction (1991) – Review

Ah, the early ‘90s, a golden era of action schlock, where filmmakers thought slapping some robotics onto a generic thriller plot would make it cutting-edge. Eve of Destruction is one of those movies that thinks it’s being cool and futuristic but ends up feeling like the cinematic equivalent of a malfunctioning fax machine: loud, outdated, and utterly frustrating.

Let’s start with the plot: The movie opens with genius scientist Dr. Eve Simmons (Renée Soutendijk) and her latest creation, EVE VIII (also played by Soutendijk), an advanced military android designed for reconnaissance and combat. She also built the android to look exactly like her because, apparently, self-love is real, even in the scientific community. And this isn’t just any robot—this one is equipped with her own memories and emotions, and this was to enhance its adaptability in the field. However, unbeknownst to her colleagues, the android also inherited her sexual fantasies, past trauma, subconscious fears and all sorts of emotional baggage, creating a potential for unpredictable behaviour. 

This is why we need oversight on military spending.

During a routine field test in a simulated urban environment, a group of armed bank robbers stumbles upon EVE VIII, mistaking her for an unarmed civilian, and when they attack, the android’s defensive programming activates. It ruthlessly eliminates the threat, but due to either stress or being shot, it malfunctions and breaks free from operational control and goes on a violent rampage, because that’s what all advanced AI does in early ’90s action movies. Proving once again that the government should not be trusted with expensive murder machines. Now, instead of advancing science, Eve is stomping around, stealing cars, shooting people, and casually carrying a nuclear bomb inside her. Oops. To solve this problem, they have to bring in the Best of the Best. 

Were Schwarzenegger or Stallone not available?

Enter Gregory Hines as Colonel Jim McQuade (yes, that Gregory Hines), an elite military specialist tasked with stopping this rogue robot. This man is known for his tap dancing, and trust me, that skill would have been way more useful here than his actual performance. And what exactly are his qualifications for this mission? Unclear. But hey, he looks cool holding a gun. McQuade teams up with Dr. Simmons (the human one), who tries to explain that EVE VIII isn’t just a killer robot; she’s also a killer robot with mommy issues because she inherited Simmons’ personal baggage along with her advanced weaponry. And I’m sure that will pay off in a dramatic and meaningful way. Or, most likely, the screenwriter will forget in favour of a lot of gunfire. 

The robot does have those crazy eyes, so that’s something.

EVE VIII, now fully embracing her inner terminator, embarks on a cross-country murder spree, but with a twist: she occasionally has emotional breakdowns because of the human memories inside her. One minute, she’s mowing down cops in cold blood; the next, she’s having a deep introspective moment in a department store. Along the way, between moments of emotional reflection, Eve steals a car and adds moving violations to her list of crimes, blows up random buildings, and terrorizes innocent bystanders, all while strutting around in a bright red power suit and heels. Even on a murder spree, fashion matters. This is not to say she doesn’t have time to catch up on some of her creator’s past traumas, such as visiting her dear old abusive father (Kevin McCarthy) for some homespun revenge.

“Weren’t you the star of Invasion of the Body Snatchers?”

After a trail of destruction that would make Grand Theft Auto jealous, McQuade and Simmons finally corner EVE VIII, but there’s a big problem. Remember that nuclear bomb inside her? Yeah, it’s armed and ready to go off. The only solution? More gunfire and explosions! Then, after 90 minutes of build-up, the film simply… stops. You expect a dramatic climax, but instead, it’s like the movie itself lost interest. After all the explosions, chases, and nonsense, the movie simply ends. There’s no emotional weight, no real resolution…just, “Well, that happened.” Gregory Hines probably went straight to his agent and fired them after this project. Did the government learn anything? Nope. Did Simmons realize that maybe making a killer android with emotional baggage was a bad idea? Also no. But hey, at least Gregory Hines survived to never make another sci-fi movie again.

“I think it’s time to dust off my tap shoes.”

Stray Observations:

• EVE VIII was designed to be a battlefield nuke, but why was she packing a live nuke during a field test? Did the military think that “If we aren’t endangering millions of lives, it’s not a proper test.”
• The military spends billions on this super-advanced android… and then they just lose track of her. Maybe they should have invested in a better GPS tracker instead of a built-in nuclear warhead.
• Another bit of EVE VIII’s programming is something called “Battlefield Mode” – her highest state of readiness – and while in this mode, she will not respond to orders from her superiors. How is that a good idea? Was she designed to go rogue?
• This movie is about a military science experiment going wrong and features Kevin McCarthy, who played a scientist behind a failed military experiment in Joe Dante’s Piranha.
• Our two main characters travel as passengers aboard an SR-71 Blackbird reconnaissance jet, but that plane is equipped with only two seats: the pilot and the navigator. Is the navigator riding on the outside of the plane today?
• As mentioned, EVE VIII isn’t just a killer machine; she has memories from her creator, meaning she occasionally stops to have emotional breakdowns. Imagine The Terminator, but with therapy flashbacks.

“Now, Timmy, let me tell you about the rabbits…”

Written and directed by Duncan Gibbins, Eve of Destruction plays out like he was desperately trying to rewrite The Terminator, but with none of the charm, tension, or budget. Eve, the robot, has a nuclear bomb inside her because, sure, why not? It’s not enough to have a deadly android; she has to be a walking apocalypse. Her rampage consists mostly of standing around looking blank while occasionally shooting people in the most awkward, unconvincing way possible, and Gregory Hines spends most of the movie looking either confused or deeply regretting signing onto this project. 

I think this expression pretty much sums up his feelings.

Renée Soutendijk is given the impossible task of making two lifeless performances interesting, and she fails spectacularly at both. For the big “climax,” the robot kidnaps the real Eve’s son – him being the most important thing in Eve’s life – but since EVE VIII is about as expressive as a toaster, the whole sequence has the emotional weight of an answering machine message. Imagine Siri trying to threaten you, yeah, it’s like that. EVE VIII just comes across as a slightly annoyed office worker instead of a terrifying killing machine.

Though she’d be a very well-armed office worker.

In conclusion, Eve of Destruction is a 99-cent store version of The Terminator, with none of the heart, excitement, or competence that film had to offer. It’s the kind of movie that makes you check the runtime every 10 minutes, praying for the sweet relief of the credits. This can make for a fun “So Bad It’s Good” movie night, but watch at your own risk, preferably with heavy doses of alcohol and low expectations.