Kim Possible (2019) – Review

With Disney Studios making billions of dollars off their live-action remakes, it’s not surprising that the Disney Channel would attempt the same thing with their animated shows. Thus the world has now been subjected to a live-action version of the popular television cartoon Kim Possible, but whereas Disney’s theatrical releases have sported budgets in the hundreds of millions, this made-for-television feature looks to be made from the loose change found under Walt Disney’s couch cushions.

I know I’m not the target demographic for a Kim Possible movie — not being a small child — but I must admit to finding the original four seasons of the television show to be immensely entertaining, and it holds up so well after all this time all due to the incredible team of writers and animators that brought it to life. Kim Possible not only burst at the seams with excellent character designs and bizarre adventures — not to mention having the world’s most lovable naked mole rat — but what made that series so good was the different levels of humour that worked for audiences of all ages. This aspect is completely missing in 2019’s Kim Possible movie, for not only is the classic humour of the original series nowhere to be found, they somehow managed to turn Kim Possible into an escapee from an After School Special.

I’m surprised the show didn’t have a warning against children trying out jetpacks.

The movie opens with what looks to be a standard Kim Possible adventure, a world-renowned scientist having been captured by the evil Professor Dementor (Patton Oswalt), and Kim Possible (Sadie Stanley) jet-packing in with her ever-loyal sidekick Ron Stoppable (Sean Giambrone) to save the day, and if we were to let slide how incredibly poor the visual effects looked, or young Sadie’s complete inability to pull off an action sequence, then this wouldn’t be a terrible opening, but then the movie jumps to the crux of what this movie is apparently about, which is the complete and utter humiliation of Kim Possible.

“Say it’s not so Rufus!”

This movie seems to be a bizarre reboot of the show, with its timeline taking place during her freshman days of high school — the series having taken place during her junior and senior years at Middleton High School — yet we are told that she is already a well-established global superhero, with countless villains locked up behind bars to her credit. The reason for this change is so that the writers can now run out all the “new kid in school” clichés that they can think of, ones that were already getting old and tired back in the 80s. What is truly surprising here is that some of the writers for this movie actually worked on the original series, so the undercutting of Kim’s character development is rather odd; she has no friends other than Ron and Wade (Issac Ryan Brown), her ten-year-old tech support genius, there is no sign of Monique or any of her cheerleading friends, and she’s constantly late for class in what is easily the lamest running joke ever written for television, and is harassed constantly by her teacher Mr. Barkin (Michael P. Northey), who doesn’t seem to know who she is.

Is this Kim Possible or Saved by the Bell?

The original series was an action/comedy, with Kim combatting a variety of goofy villains, while this movie clearly didn’t have the budget for the action, nor the ability to write the comedy and so much of the movie’s ninety minute run-time is spent on teen drama, because that stuff is cheap and easy. Now, of course, the cartoon did have some teen drama, with Kim crushing on Josh Mankey, but she was always top of the social food chain at her school, not the social pariah she is depicted as here. Not only does this movie take away the fact that Kim was head cheerleader, but she’s relegated to equipment manager of the school’s soccer team, by mean-girl Bonnie Rockwaller (Erika Tham).  In the cartoon, Bonnie was a somewhat “nemesis” to Kim in school, vying to take the top spot, but there was always an element of respect between them, yet in this outing, Bonnie is just another weak television stereotype.

Note: Kim’s trademark Kimmunicator has been replaced by a holographic projecting pendant.

The basic plot of this movie surrounds new girl Athena (Ciara Riley Wilson), who Kim and Ron find crying outside of school, and they learn that not only is this girl an even bigger social leper than Kim — which once again is so very wrong — but she’s been idolizing Kim and her adventures for years. Athena is quickly embraced by our heroic duo, and soon they are spending time eating tacos at Bueno Nacho, training together, and eventually, Kim gives Athena the complete makeover, which is the staple ingredient of a dozen teen comedies. It’s at this point that Kim starts to suddenly become a little jealous of Athena, as the young girl starts to mimic and take over many of Kim Possible’s traits, right up to the point where she goes completely “Single White Female” and even saves Kim and Ron by taking on the villainous Shego (Taylor Ortega) in a fight. We even get Shego commenting, “Kimmie, you’ve got some competition here, this one’s good, maybe even better than you.” Things get even worse when Kim’s grades start sliding, she face-plants during fights, all while Athena climbs to the top of the high school social ladder.

And just how could a school wallflower…

…turn into this superhero badass?

For those who want to view the Kim Possible movie unspoiled, stop reading now for I will be revealing the dastardly plan launched by Dr. Drakken (Todd Stashwick). Earlier in the movie, we saw Shego breaking Drakken out of prison — after one of the numerous times that he had been apprehended by Kim Possible — but now he has finally figured out why she always wins: it’s because she has a certain “spark,” and if he can steal that motivational essence for himself, he will be unstoppable. So the reason Kim has been off her game is because her vitality was being slowly drained by a cybertronic humanoid, one designed to appear to be a Kim Possible super-fan.

Athena was a robot? What a twist!

I’m not sure why the screenwriters thought fans of Kim Possible would enjoy seeing their heroine turn into an angsty brat, one who whines about not being special, and complains to her mother (Alyson Hannigan) that if she’s not the best, what’s the point? That some of this is later revealed to be caused by her “spark” being drained does not offset the pain of watching a beloved character being destroyed and humiliated. Once again, I must point out that the original show was an action/comedy, and if I had wanted to watch a teen girl bitch and complain about not being special, I’d watch Party of Five. Thank God at least Todd Stashwick as Drakken and Taylor Ortego as Shego seemed to be having fun in this movie, and though they may not have been perfectly accurate representations of the cartoon alter egos, their verbal banter was pretty much bang on.

You’ve got to love villains who enjoy their work.

So if your idea of a good Kim Possible movie is one where Kim’s mother and her nana (Connie Ray) join our heroes in storming the villain’s lair — her nana is some Morpheus like martial arts figurehead in this version — or if learning that Rufus the naked mole rat was some sort of science experiment seems like a good idea, then you may get some enjoyment out of this movie. I myself found it almost too painful to watch at times.

If they make a sequel to this don’t call me or beep me.