Superman III (1983) – Review

With the worldwide success of Superman and Superman II the obvious direction to take this blossoming franchise was to sideline the title character and focus the bulk of the story on a stand-up comic turned actor, and sure, that sounds crazy as well as incredibly stupid but what do I know, I’m not a movie mogul like Ilya Salkind.

An astute viewer would quickly realize that this was not going to be your typical “Superman Movie” as this third entry does not open with fantastical shots of the planet Krypton or Superman performing amazing feats of strength, instead, the first shot consists of a chronically unemployed Gus Gorman (Richard Pryor) learning that he is no longer eligible for unemployment benefits.  That sure is a pretty exciting way to open your superhero movie. But don’t worry, it gets better, that scene is then followed by a series of slapstick gags where we witness the people of Metropolis having a wacky good times in what could best be described as a French farce. How wacky, you ask? Clark Kent (Christopher Reeve) even hits a guy in the face with a pie.

Director Richard Lester is clearly the King of Comedy.

This entry in the Superman franchise could be considered to be a campy comedy, one that could have been considered a fun send-up of the Superhero genre, sadly, the director of this thing was unable to provide any sort of consistent tone thus result was a movie with a gonzo plot but one that was also saddled with some rather dark moments. As to the plot, Superman III follows the adventures of the aforementioned Gus Gorman as becomes a computer programming savant who figures a way to embezzle a fortune from his company – see Office Space for details – and his actions draw the attention of Ross Webster (Robert Vaughn) the CEO of Metropolis-based conglomerate Webscoe, who quickly sees the possibilities of Gorman’s computer skills. if used for nefarious purposes. Along with his sister Vera (Annie Ross), and his “girlfriend” Lorelei (Pamela Stephenson), they are able to convince Gus to help them with their diabolical plans of commercial domination of the planet by utilizing his computer expertise. And how exactly can Gus pull this off? Simple, it’s just a matter of hacking into a government weather satellite and taking control of the weather.  That’s how science works, right?

I assume the writer’s room for this movie had a very well-stocked bar.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent has convinced Perry White (Jackie Cooper) to let him and Jimmy Olsen (Marc McClure) visit Smallville for Clark’s high-school reunion, while Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) is kicked out of the movie via a trip to Bermuda. This is so Clark can have a romantic tryst with his high-school crush Lana Lang (Annette O’Toole), who is a single mom with an outcast child named Ricky (Paul Kaethler), but she is also being pursued by Clark’s old high-school bully Brad Wilson (Gavan O’Herlihy) who is now an alcoholic and just so happens to work as a security for one of Webscoe’s subsidiaries. How is that for convenience? Needless to say, Superman will have to make an appearance to save the day and thwart Webster’s schemes, but things will get awkward when a plan to get Superman out of the way results in the Man of Steel becoming Evil Superman.

I wonder if Scotch was a major sponsor of this movie.

This all comes about due to an attempt to kill Superman, one that starts when Gus is able use the weather satellite to locate and analyze some debris from Krypton so that they could create synthetic kryptonite.  I must say, aren’t weather satellites amazing magical things? Unfortunately for Gus, one of the elements of kryptonite was “unknown” to the computer so he just substitutes “tar” for the missing ingredient.  This results in a less than fatal variety of kryptonite, so instead of killing Superman it turns him into a super dick. We are then treated to several scenes of superdickery, such as straightening the Leaning Tower of Pisa, blowing out the Olympic Flame and punching a hole in the side of an oil tanker.  Lucky for us, grumpy Superman runs into little Ricky and the boy’s heartfelt pleas lead to the one truly good scene in the movie, where Superman suffers a nervous breakdown and splits into two beings, the immoral and corrupted “Dark Superman” versus the moral and mild-mannered Clark Kent, and the two will fight each other for dominance.

This deserved to be in a better film.

Stray Observations:

• The gorgeous and iconic credit sequences utilized for the first two films is abandoned here in favour of blurry credits superimposed over a series of unfunny slapstick gags, truly a harbinger of things to come.
• At the Smallville High School Reunion we see photos of Clark Kent, Lana Lang and Brad Wilson from their high school days, but all the photos are of the adult actors and not of the actors who portrayed them in the first movie.
• If Webster doesn’t want the hacking of a government weather satellite traced back to his company why would they break into the computer system of a Webscoe subsidiary, when breaking into any random unconnected company’s computers would be more prudent?
• Gus “programs” the weather satellite to create a tornado which is all kind of bullshit as weather satellites don’t control the weather they only collect data. This is more evidence that the writers of this thing simply didn’t care.
• Gus accidentally skis off Webster’s high-rise rooftop “ski slope” yet he somehow survives the hundred-story drop. Did we miss a scene where he had gained superpowers?
• Superman blowing an oil slick back into the tanker makes less sense than reversing time or even kisses of forgetfulness. I’m almost certain the screenwriters had gotten into the Scotch as well.
• Poor Superman has trouble breathing inside the “bubble” that Gorman’s supercomputer creates to imprison him, which is odd considering the fact that Superman has no problem flying around the airless vacuum of space.
• An earlier version of the script included the comic book villains Brainiac and Mr. Mxyzptlk, who team up to fight Superman with Dudley Moore tipped to play Mxyzptlk, but instead of that awesome idea, we got this weird cyborg thing.

This isn’t quite Brainiac but it is pure nightmare fuel.

Christopher Reeve once again shines as the charismatic and noble Superman and his portrayal continues to be the highlight of the film, capturing the essence of the iconic character with grace and conviction. Despite the film’s shortcomings, Reeve’s performance is a reminder of why he is widely regarded as the quintessential Superman of all time, unfortunately, Reeve’s performance is the film’s only real saving grace as Superman III suffers from a moronic plot and terrible attempts at comedy. Instead of delivering a compelling and coherent storyline, the film stumbles aimlessly through a convoluted mess of ideas that never fully come together. The introduction of Richard Pryor’s Gus Gorman as a “computer genius turned villainous lackey” is a laughable attempt to inject humour into the narrative but the humour falls flat the bulk of the time. Gorman’s antics are more annoying than amusing, making him a forgettable and irritating character, of course, the real crime here is that Pryor’s character pushes Superman into the background of his own movie.

“I need to get a better agent.”

As the movie progresses, the plot occasionally loses its focus and becomes overly reliant on that slapstick humour Lester is so fond of, and the “special effects” are no longer all that special, the great visual effects that were once a hallmark of the franchise are missing here. What was once cutting-edge has been replaced with some times very shoddy work, leaving viewers with poorly realized sequences that are more laughable than awe-inspiring. It’s hard to believe that this movie came out just a few years after the visually impressive Superman: The Movie. This third entry failed to capitalize on the essence of what made the previous films so successful and it lacks the heart, depth and emotional resonance that were once the trademarks of the franchise. Instead, it relies on cheap laughs, poorly executed action sequences and a narrative that feels like a string of disconnected plot points.

“Hey, aren’t we all having a great time?”

As for the supporting characters, they receive little attention and are severely underdeveloped, which is a stark departure from the richer characterizations seen in previous instalments. Margot Kidder’s Lois Lane is reduced to a mere background figure, and the chemistry between her and Reeve’s Superman, which was a highlight of the earlier films, is virtually nonexistent as she is quickly dispatched out of the movie due to the Kidder’s feud with the Salkinds. Even the villain, Ross Webster, portrayed by the great Robert Vaughn, is forgettable and lacks the menacing presence that a worthy Superman adversary demand. Webster lacks the menace and gravitas of Lex Luthor, Superman’s arch-nemesis in the previous instalments.

We do get a cool villain lair with its resident supercomputer.

In conclusion, Superman III is a colossal disappointment that tarnishes the legacy of the iconic superhero franchise. Christopher Reeve’s commendable efforts can’t save this sinking ship, as the film sinks deeper into a sea of mediocrity with each passing scene. For fans of the Man of Steel, it’s best to steer clear of this dreary instalment, instead, cherish the memories of the earlier and more triumphant entries in the series. If one positive thing can be said about this entry is that it’s still better than Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, but that is damning a thing with faint praise.