There’s a special category of movie that makes you feel slightly embarrassed for every other film that tried and failed to be timeless. Disney’s Beauty and the Beast sits there, arms crossed, quietly judging them. It’s polished, heartfelt, and annoyingly close to perfect for something about a guy who gets turned into a very angry…
Tag: action
House of the Dead (2003) – Review
Uwe Boll once described 2003’s House of the Dead as a prequel to the 1997 arcade game, which is already a sentence that should have triggered a wellness check. The original game barely had a plot beyond “shoot the zombies before they eat your face,” so naturally someone decided it needed lore. What we got…
The 10th Victim (1965) – Review
Pop-art satire, screwball romance, and a bra that doubles as a firearm, The 10th Victim is the kind of science fiction only the swinging ’60s could produce. A film that takes a gleefully cynical look at a future where legalized man-hunting is the ultimate sport and the ultimate advertising opportunity. What follows is a stylish,…
Duel (1971) – Review
Before Jaws, before Jurassic Park, before Spielberg was the patron saint of summer blockbusters, he made a film that proved you don’t need a giant shark or prehistoric monsters to terrify an audience, all you need is a faceless truck, a stretch of desert highway, and the nerve to keep the camera rolling as it…
Cleopatra (1970) – Review
Let’s get one thing out of the way: Osamu Tezuka’s Cleopatra is not your average historical epic. It’s also not your average anime. It’s… well, it’s what happens when the “God of Manga” watches Barbarella, chugs a vat of sake, and says, “Let’s do Ben-Hur, but horny and in space-time.”