Chuck Norris doesn’t call 911. 911 calls him. Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in homeland security. Homeland Security believes in Chuck Norris. In 1985, America was invaded. Chuck Norris filed the eviction notice.
Tag: action movie
Eve of Destruction (1991) – Review
Ah, the early ‘90s, a golden era of action schlock, where filmmakers thought slapping some robotics onto a generic thriller plot would make it cutting-edge. Eve of Destruction is one of those movies that thinks it’s being cool and futuristic but ends up feeling like the cinematic equivalent of a malfunctioning fax machine: loud, outdated,…
Hercules in New York (1970) – Review
In the annals of cinematic history, some films become classics because of their brilliance. Others earn their place because of their sheer audacity. And then there’s Hercules in New York, a movie so spectacularly misguided, so blissfully unaware of its own absurdity, that it manages to transcend its incompetence and become something strangely unforgettable.
BMX Bandits (1983) – Review
Before she graced red carpets and collected Oscars, Nicole Kidman was outrunning goons on a BMX bike, while sporting a glorious cloud of curly red hair and a whole lot of attitude. Does that sound like a great film to you? If so, then strap on your helmet, pump up those tires, and crank the…
Lone Wolf and Cub (1972–1974) – Review
If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a stoic, sword-slinging samurai hit the road with a baby who’s as tough as his dad, look no further than the Lone Wolf and Cub movies. These legendary Japanese films from the 1970s are a blood-soaked, tear-jerking, adrenaline-pumping ride through feudal Japan.